The Worries of Dorming with A Friend

I will be entering college as a freshmen having my friend of 6 years be roommates with me. I’ve heard the stories, the worries, and the one percent of success. Many individuals have told me this won’t be a good idea and that it will ruin the relationship. I’ve disregarded their concerns and continue to plan my year with my friend. But as my summer has progressed I am starting to have worries of my own. So here are the top three worries as a passive-aggressive introvert planning to live with her close friend in college.

1. Her boyfriend

Let’s call her T and him L. T and L recently started their relationship this year, her first and one of his many. I’ve been with them as they cuddled and displayed with cuteness to the public. I’ve been in the awkward position where they strolled along as they were the only people in the world, while my friends and I cringed. I’ve been there for her as she told me their problems. But it will be different when we move in together and he’ll be there often. Displaying their cuteness.

Will there be nights that he stays over? Do they know where the line should be drawn? What will I do if they cross the line?

Now PDA is real, but there is always a line drawn. So the solution? Draw the line. Someone will need to set the boundaries and the sooner, the better. Boundaries aren’t for boyfriends and girlfriends, but much more. Shared items, level of cleanliness, lights out, etc. Both T and I are passive-aggressive individuals, but someone needs to step up to take the necessary action. So here comes another worry.

2. Confrontation

As a passive-aggressive person, confrontation is one of my many concerns. You might say one thing, but the other person might take it in another way. Body language, tone, and attitude can say a lot of different things. I can imagine the talk in many scenarios, but I won’t actually know how it will go along. There are multiple unknowns that you won’t know until you go through with the confrontation.

Will she just take it in calmly? Or does she want to set boundaries as well? Maybe she has her own concerns, but can’t voice them? What if an argument arise? What will I do then?

The only way to prepare for a confrontation is going in with a clear mind. Leaving any negative thoughts to the past and making sure that both sides get what they want at the end. Having a list of things to talk about might be a good idea. Boundaries should especially be set before both roommates move in.

3. How the relationship is going to change

Being friends with someone and living with them is different. When you are living with another individual, they are in your private bubble a lot of the time. Friends meet either in class, work, or a scheduled time. Combining friend and roommate together will definitely change how a relationship will be like.

Will her little habits annoy me? Will my habits annoy her? Will it get to the point that we can’t stand each other any more? Will we come to hate one another? Or will we actually become closer?

There is no way to know how any relationship is going to change, all you know is that it will. You can make efforts to stay friends, but sometimes there are obstacles that you can’t overcome. What matters is that your try your best with sincerity. Whatever the future may have in store, that will be discovered then.

At the end of the day, there is no time to worry about uncertainty, but make every moment count. Your roommate won’t be the only thing you’ll struggle with so make sure to destress from life every now and then. To all of the freshmen planning to be roommates with your friend from high school, best of luck.


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